This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
