I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Randomize
