Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
