playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Randomize
