Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
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