My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
