Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
