Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Randomize
