I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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