first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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