More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
