I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
