No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Randomize