1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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