We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Randomize