Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Randomize
