On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
