Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
