I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
she told me i tasted like america
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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