no, he came in my armpit
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
We are two peas in an std pod
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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