Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Randomize
