Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
