i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Randomize
