But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize
