just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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