i just wanna soil my oats bro
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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