Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
