Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
