When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
