ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
