Why are handjobs necessary in class?
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
