i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
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