if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
