i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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