I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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