umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
