he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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