the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Randomize
