I like my sex mixed with concussions.
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
