Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
