Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Randomize
