His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I am spending my child support on dildos
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
All I want is dick and wine.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
