I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Randomize
