Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Randomize
