We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
