Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Randomize