My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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