I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
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