bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
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