Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
