dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
