that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Randomize
