I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
