Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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