Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
