just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize