I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Congratulations! We have a period
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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