No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
