I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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