you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Randomize
