My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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